The pronouns she/her and he/him have been part of our everyday language for a long time. However, more and more people no longer feel comfortable with these pronouns. They may prefer they/them or a combination of pronouns.

If you want to play the quizzes from Pro-Now, you will come across a variety of pronouns. This is because not all gender-diverse people use the same pronouns: it differs from person to person. In the quiz, you will encounter neutral, mixed, and binary pronouns.

Neutral pronouns are pronouns that are not specifically male or female. Unlike binary pronouns like he/him and she/her, they are not tied to the traditional gender binary. Many non-binary, intersex, and gender-diverse people use neutral pronouns because they feel more accurate and comfortable for their identity. A neutral pronoun is they/them. They/them pronouns have existed in English for centuries and are widely used when someone’s gender is unknown. Today, it is also an important way to respect and affirm people’s gender identities.

Double pronouns are combinations of two pronoun sets, such as they/she or he/they. Someone may enjoy hearing both because they do not fully identify with one or the other. It can also mean that one pronoun is acceptable in certain contexts — for example, he/him for people who do not know the person well — while they/them is preferred among trusted friends and family.

If you meet people who introduce themselves with a different order, for example they/she instead of she/they, this is often because they prefer the first pronoun more strongly. For instance, people may naturally tend to default to she/her, while the person would appreciate others consciously using the full combination instead.

Binary pronouns refer to the traditional distinction between male (he/him) and female (she/her). These are the pronouns most people are already familiar with. People can also switch between binary pronouns, which we often see with binary trans people, such as trans men and trans women.

But when do you use which pronoun? When do you use them versus their? And when do you use she versus her? We’ll explain it for you below!

When someone uses they/them pronouns.

When someone uses they/them pronouns.

When someone uses she/her pronouns.

When someone uses he/him pronouns.

We've all probably heard it before: “Hello, ladies and gentlemen.” For many people, this phrase often goes unnoticed, but for trans and non-binary people, it can trigger a dysphoric feeling. So, how can we make sure to address everyone in an inclusive and pleasant way? By using inclusive language and gender-neutral words! Why is this so important? Using inclusive language ensures no one is left out and everyone feels part of what you say or write. But what exactly does “gender-neutral” and “inclusive” mean? It depends on the context and the relationship you have with the person.

Switching to general language

Do you write emails or texts, or speak in front of groups? Avoid words like “ladies and gentlemen,” “boys and girls,” or “Ms.” and “Mr.” Using just these words excludes a whole group of people. Instead, use inclusive alternatives, such as “people,” “folks,” or “everyone.” You can also address people by their role or function, such as “students,” “colleagues,” “guests,” or “travelers.” This way, you address people without assigning a gender, which is inclusive language!

Also, much of our language is written in male form, and we don't always know how to avoid this. Below are different ways to rephrase gender-related words or avoid them altogetherher. For example, you can choose a plural form:

You can also choose an article instead of a male possessive pronoun:

And then there's the option to use ‘they’, which is already a neutral term in general language.

In addition to the examples mentioned above, there are plenty of other ways to rephrase your sentences in a more inclusive language. It might feel a bit strange at first, but the more conscious you become of it and the more often you use it, the easier it will be to get the hang of it!

Gender-free family terms

Family terms are also often gender-based. For example, “father/mother,” “brother/sister,” “uncle/aunt,” “grandfather/grandmother,” “nephew/niece.” All of these words are tied to a specific gender, and many trans and non-binary people feel uncomfortable with them. To make it easier, we've created a list of inclusive/gender-neutral alternatives. Don't hesitate to get creative and come up with words that feel right for you as a trans or non-binary person!

In some situations, there aren't yet neutral or inclusive words. Especially in the Dutch language, we're still catching up with creating new, inclusive terms. Take a moment to think about this and try coming up with new words yourself. After all, language is something we create together!

Speak up for inclusive language
Do you often hear other people use gendered words that make you feel uncomfortable, as an ally or a trans/non-binary person? Don't hesitate to speak up and explain why it's important to use inclusive language.